Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
