I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
