I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
