God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
