you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
