can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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