Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
