Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
