He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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