Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
