We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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