I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
