so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
