i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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