Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just found a bag of teeth...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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