turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
