Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's rum buckets o'clock
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
