Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
