tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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