i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
