; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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