Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
