so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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