i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
