I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
