We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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