I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I want a musical about memes.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
