Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
