dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
