Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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