the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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