An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i think my cat just said my name.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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