she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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