You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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