garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
