dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
