you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I want a musical about memes.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
