i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
