just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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