i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't turn off my feet"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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