she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
