My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
