No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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