That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
