seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
