i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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