Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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