We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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