Porn is love you can see.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
