I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
