it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
