So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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