Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My life is pants optional.
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