This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
