last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
